“You are altogether beautiful my love. There is no flaw in you.”
-Song of Solomon 4:7
What a beautiful statement of enjoyment in marriage that at the same time is just not altogether true, right? Like what husband or wife is perfect, is flawless? This is a husband saying to his wife, “There’s no flaw in you.” I almost picture it like a teenage guy and girl who are attracted to each other and this guy is just thinking there is nothing wrong with her. Everything is perfect in her. And the reality is he’s not gotten to know any of her imperfections or he’s so enthralled with her that he finds it so easy to overlook imperfections.
And as you think about that, there actually is something beautiful about it. Even when you think about the way the New Testament talks about our relationships with one another in the body and the blood of Christ and the church, that we would be quick to overlook offenses, that we would believe the best about each other, that we would celebrate God’s grace in each other instead of focusing on each other’s flaws. That’s the picture here in marriage. That God has designed for a husband and a wife to look at each other and to celebrate God’s grace in each other and not to constantly harp on this or that flaw or weakness, but to be quick, again, in a New Testament sense, to overlook offenses or to believe the best about someone else.
Song of Solomon 4:7 Gives Us a Biblical Picture of Marriage
Now, obviously, I think it would be necessary to give a caveat here that this definitely doesn’t mean we overlook sin and treat it lightly, especially if a husband or a wife is doing things, saying things, in any way being hurtful or harmful or abusive, anything like that. This is not saying just overlook that flaw. No, those things need to be addressed appropriately. If you’re in a situation like that, get help in addressing those things appropriately.
Instead, the picture here in Songs of Solomon 4:7 is a husband and a wife who delight in each other, who love each other, and who find it easy to overlook flaws in each other as a result. I just think about my wife, she knows so many flaws that I have and yet I’m so thankful that she loves me anyway. And this is part of God’s good design for marriage, a faithful, covenant love, even in the middle of flaws to look at each other and say, “You are altogether beautiful my love, my beloved. I’m for you.”
Song of Solomon 4:7 Reminds Us of the Beauty of Christian Marriage
I want to lead us to pray for our marriages if we are married. And then even if we’re single listening to this, then we would pray this for others’ marriages around us, and ultimately, all of this so that the love of Christ for the church might be evident in marriages.
God, we pray for this kind of enjoyment and beauty, enthrallment with one another in marriage. God, we pray this for those of us who are husbands or wives for this reality in our marriages. Help us to look at our spouses this way. Help them to see us this way and to celebrate your grace in each other, your beauty in each other.
Even as I think about teaching tonight for Secret Church on the image of God in us, that we are made in your image, God, we pray that you would help us to celebrate each other as beautifully and fearfully and wonderfully made in your image. And at the same time, yes, oh God, please help us to address sin in each other’s lives, in our relationships in ways that are appropriate and appropriately serious at the same time, never forgetting that we are made in your image and there is beauty inherent in each one of us.
Song of Solomon 4:7 Calls Us to Pray for These Marriages
God, we pray for this kind of enthrallment in our marriages for those of us who are married, for marriages around us, even right now, for all of us to intercede for others’ marriages, they would experience this kind of beauty in their relationships with each other in ways that ultimately point to you, Lord Jesus, and the way you love us and the way that you died to cover over all of our flaws to make it possible for us to be pure and holy in your sight.
Song of Solomon 4:7 Leads Us to Pray
God, even as I pray that and think about teaching Secret Church and the gospel at the center of that, we pray that more and more people would come to know your love, both at Secret Church tonight, and then, oh God, and the marriages and the picture of the gospel that they see in our marriages and marriages around us. May it be so God. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
I should add, I mentioned Secret Church in a couple different points when I was praying through that. I think it’s still possible for you to be a part of that if you want to, secretchurch.org. You can register online and join with tens of thousands of people all around the world as we dive into what it means to be made in the image of God. Again, that’s secretchurch.org.