What to Do When Kindness Feels Impossible

Austin Huang:
I have a really funny story that I want to share with you. So we’re in our mini series on the Fruit of the Spirit, and today we’re talking about kindness. We’re currently in the great State of Texas in the great city of Dallas. And I remember-

David Platt:
You say that because you live in Texas and everybody thinks the State of Texas is great.

Austin Huang:
It is.

David Platt:
Which is great for those of you who live in the country. I mean State of Texas.

Austin Huang:
The country. I mean, it was a country. I mean, was it? Okay, that’s not a history lesson on the State of Texas. Anyway, so I was here a couple of years ago and I remember walking into a coffee shop and people were raving about this coffee shop. It was the trendy thing to do. So I went into this coffee shop and I’m super excited to get my latte and I get my latte and on the label, you know sometimes they have the fun sayings, it said, I kid you not, it said “Be,” and then it said a curse word, “kind.” So it was like a command telling me to be, just think of that in your mind, kind. And I laughed out loud. I was like, “Is that not contradictory to the statement you’re trying? You’re telling me to be blank kind.”

Austin Huang:
And so that just begs the question of, for me at least, I think of that, I’m like, the world is trying to manufacture kindness to the point where they’re yelling from the stages, from the rooftops, “just be kind.” But what does that actually mean? What’s the difference between what the world is trying to tell me in that instance to be kind and the biblical definition of kindness?

David Platt:
So that’s super interesting because when you look at this word in the original language, I was actually kind of surprised when I looked at it. Some of the first for the word in the Greek here that’s translated kindness here, there’s actually words like uprightness and goodness even which comes after this, usefulness. Those are kind of synonyms for, so kindness is obviously one way to translate it. But then yeah, so you put uprightness next to your latte cup and it’s like be blanking upright. And it’s like, okay, well that doesn’t make sense at all.
So it does show there’s actually a standard by which we measure kindness. So it’s not, as I’m thinking about that, yeah, just using the word kind, we’ve got to think through what is actually, what does God say is kind? I think that’s one of the things that’s really helpful with all these pictures of the Fruit of the Spirit. I was thinking about it in light of Ephesians 5:1, Be imitators of God as beloved children. So how do we know what kindness looks like in action? Well, what does kindness look like in God? And I think about Titus, when the goodness and kindness of God, our Savior appeared. Or Romans, it’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. Which man, let that soak in. Romans 2 there doesn’t say God’s wrath leads us to repentance. It says God’s kindness leads us to repentance. So man, kindness has a transformative effect. That’ll preach.
So that’s God’s kindness toward us. Obviously in Christ, I think about Ephesians 2, that he might show, so with God being rich in mercy because the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ. And it says when he raised us up with him and seated us in the heavenly places so that in the coming ages, he might show the immeasurable riches of his kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Okay, so this is God and all his uprightness and his generosity being kind toward us to save us from our sins through the sacrifice of his Son.
So then man, what does that look like in action for us today? So, man. And then okay, I don’t want to just talk about all these different verses without just letting that soak in for a second. Well, maybe one thing, I’d love to know your thoughts on this. I found it interesting in Romans 3:12, when it says there’s no one who does good, not even one talking about our sinfulness, our depravity, that’s the same word that’s translated good there that’s translated kindness here in Galatians 5. So there’s no one who does kind. There’s no one who does. So it’s not natural for us to be kind. Yeah, there’s no one who does kindness.
What do you think that means?

Austin Huang:
Well, I mean, the first thing that comes to mind is just what I said earlier is the world manufactures kindness. So you just proved it right there, it’s not real. I was on a flight the other day and they were like, okay, welcome to wherever you just got and just remember, be kind. What do you mean? A big corporation telling me to be kind, they’re marketing it so that I can… What is the point of that? That’s just what comes to mind. I’m like, I don’t feel like without Christ, anyone actually knows what it means to be kind. Without him, it’s a Fruit of the Spirit, which means that the Spirit is the one who bears it within us. So that means that we can’t do it apart from him.

David Platt:
I think, especially when we contrast it with some of the things that are the works of the flesh before this verse, so think about, I mean, he talks about jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy. Those would be opposite of kindness. But what the Bible’s saying is that’s what our flesh produces and only the Holy Spirit in us can produce a selfless, instead of jealousy, a kindness toward others. Man, let’s just let that soak in for a second. How tempted are we to envy or jealousy of others? Man, that’s not kindness.
So for us to examine our hearts, where am I envious of others? Where am I jealous of others? To repent of that, man, I’ll be honest. As I’m even saying that, I think about struggles I have sometimes when I see… Well, I’m just confessing here. This is how sometimes this looks in a pastor’s life. I can see other pastors who things are really going good or other ministry leaders and I can be jealous that they’re seeing things I’m not seeing. And man, how selfish is that? On so many levels, that’s selfish. I should be delighting in the fact, one, that God’s being glorified in these ways. Two, that my brother or sister in Christ is experiencing God’s blessing in that way. And instead I could be selfish and be envious, jealous, as opposed to kindness is rejoicing in that for them and for God’s glory.
I don’t know. Do you struggle with that?

Austin Huang:
Yeah, 100%. I think too, what you’re saying, someone, our brothers and sisters who are succeeding and doing things for the kingdom, whatever it is, if it’s big or small, in God’s eyes, it’s glorifying to him. I get so caught up in that of just looking at people younger than me who are doing things that I’m like, man, it goes back to our conversation earlier on like, man, I just want to be impressive. But you’re right, their good thing doesn’t undermine my good thing. My good thing doesn’t undermine their good thing.
I feel like this is a word that I’ll preach, neither of these things undermine each other, but they both underline God’s kindness in our lives, that he would even allow us to do anything. I mean, he doesn’t have to allow us to do anything. We could just go sit in a corner after giving our lives to Christ and still make it to heaven, but he and his kindness allows us to participate in his mission. He partners with us. He’s given us his Holy Spirit to walk with us and do good things. That’s the ultimate kindness.

David Platt:
That’s good. And I think it makes me think about how, well, humility is just so key to all of this fruit, because it really is pride that’s at the root of envy, that’s at the root of jealousy. So to have a humility that’s like, yeah, praise God for the ways he shows kindness to me and the ways he works in my life, through my life, but a humility to look at God’s grace in somebody else and rejoice in that.
And I just think about people that it frees you up to be an encourager of others, which is definitely an expression of kindness. So I’ll ask you this question even as I’m thinking about it myself. When you think of kind people who’ve shown this Fruit of the Spirit in your life, man, I just think about people who have selflessly encouraged me, who have in a selfless, right way have built me up and gone out of their way to do things for me, to serve me.
Man, I’ve got… Well, my mom is one of the most selfless, kindest people I know. And she does not expect anyone to pat her on the back for anything. And she’s constantly serving with kindness the people around her in a selfless way, in a way that just, I think, emulates the character of Christ. And man, my life is the fruit of her kindness.

Austin Huang:
Yeah. I just think of some people in my life who have given so much just selflessly, checking in, meeting up with me. And it’s that type of kindness that we have access to as Christians that the world doesn’t have access to.
Non-believers, I mean, going back to how we started this, their desire is, unfortunately, it’s selfish. So even in them being kind, going out of their way to do good things or kind things for people, I’m not going to assume everyone’s motive, but oftentimes it’s to present themselves as a kind person. Like I want to prove to the world that I am kind, so I’m going to do these things to achieve this status of being known as a kind person.
But I just think my mind goes immediately to the good Samaritan. All of these people who are passing by this person who is on the side of the street, who’s been just left for dead, they probably are known in their communities for being kind. I mean, they were religious leaders and people who had status, but then the good Samaritan comes by and he does something. It’s not just words. It’s not just, “Hey, have a good day,” or, “You look great in that outfit.” When no one was looking, he stopped and he helped that person. That’s kindness. That is selfless. I mean, selflessness is a Fruit of the Spirit, but that is selfless kindness.

David Platt:
So to kind of press in on that for a minute, and I think it’s a really good question to ask with all the Fruit of the Spirit, what is uniquely produced by the Spirit of God? I mean, you’re talking about people who don’t know Jesus or maybe not have the Holy Spirit in them, I think they could do things. Well, I struggle with self in so many ways as a Christian, but somebody can… Yeah, I can think of non-believers who have done really, in many senses, kind things for me.
But I think, again, one of the biggest distinctions that we need to make is whatever the Spirit does centers on exalting Jesus, not self. Or not even somebody else.
It ultimately is what distinguishes the Fruit of the Spirit is that the Spirit lives to exalt Jesus. And so whatever we do in kindness is not even just for another’s sake, it’s ultimately for Jesus’ sake because he alone is worthy and ultimately for God’s sake.
So I think that’s where it’s probably good to check ourselves even when we’re doing, so now for us as followers of Jesus, when we’re doing something kind to check ourselves, are we doing this ultimately for God’s glory? So this kind of goes back to the envy jealousy thing. When God’s glory is really our supreme motivation, desire, goal, then that does free us up to rejoice in other people’s good and to live for other people’s good, to be kind in these, because that’s bringing more glory to God.
I was speaking to a group of professional athletes, these were baseball players, and I was just talking about the humility that’s involved in doing your best, but then if somebody else wins because they did their best and your best wasn’t as good, then there’s still a contentment of that. And I remember the next day, one of them texted me and was like, “Okay, so just to make sure I got this right, I am on…” He was a major league pitcher, and he said, “So I’m in a key game, bottom of the ninth, base is loaded. I make the pitch as best as I can and dude smacks it over the wall. I’m supposed to just watch him rounding the bases and win the game and be like, Praise God.”
I’m like, okay, I realize it’s tough in a competitive… But there is a sense in which, this is what I love, just a reference, a book I would reference, it’s a little booklet that Tim Keller wrote called The Blessed Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. It’s so good. I don’t know if you’ve ever read it, but it’s amazing. So The Blessed Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, but he’s basically saying, “Man, this is what denying self is about. It’s really getting to the point where we’re not living for self or we’re living for God’s glory.”
And to the extent that if your brother in Christ knocked it over the fence, now I don’t know if it was a non-Christian or Christian… but… and is going to give glory to God, you’re like, “Okay, it’s not about me. It’s about the glory of God more than anything else.”

Austin Huang:
Yeah. Amen. That’s a good example.

David Platt:
But that’s what the Fruit of the Spirit really, we’ve got to make sure, and what we’re praying for in our lives is all these things in ways that center on the supremacy of Jesus, because that’s really what differentiates the Christian from the non-Christian.

Austin Huang:
Yeah, exactly. And I think that’s a cool way, speaking on supremacy of Christ and him getting the glory, I think kindness is an amazing tool to share the gospel. I think of all the times that I’ve shared the gospel, I don’t just jump in immediately and be like, “Hey, if you don’t believe in Christ, you’re going to go to hell.” I don’t jump in and just say that to somebody. I usually start with a kind word like, “Hey bro, I love your shoes.” “Thanks, man. Hey, what’s your name?” And that’s an immediate bridge to the gospel.
But I do think that non-believers can have this perception of Christians being unkind, which that distorts our gospel witness. And I think that’s what’s so dangerous about, I think of things that, I can repent every single day that I drive because I get frustrated with how bad other drivers are. And I’m probably just as bad, but I just think of those times. I’m not kind in those moments. Maybe I’m not saying it.
This is funny, I’m speaking this out loud. When I ran the half-marathon a week ago, I’m in the parking garage. I got my QR code out. I’m waiting for the thing to go up and it’s not going up yet and my thing is about to scan. Someone behind me says, “Move it moron.” I’m not joking. I was there for five seconds and I had everything in me. I was like, “Are you serious to say something back?” But I was just like, “Nope, that’s not my gospel witness.”
But it is frustrating, and there are times that I do need to repent of-

David Platt:
Lack of kindness.

Austin Huang:
… exactly.

David Platt:
Well, man, yes. And I mean, you started off talking about this, but if we’re not careful, we can be conformed to a pattern of this world that can be really unkind. And we as Christians, as followers of Jesus who have the name of Jesus, do not live in a manner worthy of our calling to kindness, then a way that reflects the kindness of our God.
Yeah. I mean, to enemies, that’s who we are, the immeasurable riches of his kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Right before that, it’s talking about we were dead in our trespasses and sins, following the prince of the power of the air, just by nature, children of wrath. We were deserving of God’s wrath and he showed kindness toward us in Christ. And so think of the people who call you a moron, the people who offend you, the people who are hurtful towards you, the people who slander you, the people who… this is where kindness really gets tested. And the Fruit of the Spirit is to respond to all kinds of, the works of the flesh, with kindness because this is who our God is and his Spirit enables us to do that.
Man, I want to grow in that to where my impulse toward even people who would want to harm me is kindness. Yeah.

Austin Huang:
How do we cultivate that? What are some practical steps? Because like we’ve been talking about, it’s not something that we can manufacture. It’s by the Spirit of God within us. So how do we practically cultivate a kinder heart?

David Platt:
Man. Well, one, I think with all these pictures of Fruit of the Spirit, pray for them, ask for these things. These are gifts from the Spirit. And two, also just remember, and this applies to all of them, it’s the root that produces the fruit. It’s not like focus on getting fruit on a tree. It’s focus on getting water at the root.

Austin Huang:
That’s good.

David Platt:
So yeah, don’t ever underestimate. Just blessed is a man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers, his delight is in the law of the Lord, on his law, he meditates day and night. He’s like a tree planted by streams of water bearing fruit in season. So just don’t underestimate just the prayer, Word, fasting, just spiritual discipline of walking with God, solitude, submission before God.
But then I think about specifically with kindness, Psalm 48:9, I was actually reading this this morning. It’s what’s come to my mind. “We have thought on your steadfast love, Lord, in the midst of your temple. “And I’m reading that and I’m thinking, “Okay, I’m in your presence right now, God. I just want to think about your steadfast love.” So meditate on the kindness of God. Especially when we are tempted to not be kind towards someone else, meditate on his kindness toward you and just reflect on, just stop. Before you let the flesh take over in your mind and heart at that point, and certainly in your mouth or whatever you’re about to text or send or post or whatever, just stop and meditate on the kindness of God toward me.
And then pray for God help me to reflect that kind of kindness toward this person. Help me to be upright, generous, gracious, kind toward them. Man, we do that, it changes so many dynamics in our personal relationships, family relationships, friendships, church relationships, and certainly the picture of the church that we give to the world.

Austin Huang:
Yeah, that’s so good. My mind just went to Romans 5:8, “God shows his love for us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” I think you can put kindness next to love there. He shows his kindness us that while we were still unworthy, undeserving, without hope, so wicked, he died for us. And if we can internalize that, if I can internalize that, I can forgive the guy who called me a moron. If I can internalize that, then I can walk out actually being kind that leads to the glory of God, not for myself, not for the other person, but for him. If I can internalize the understanding of the gospel for myself, then it will lead to a more fruitful, more kind life.

David Platt:
Yeah. I think that’s going to be true or it is true for all these. It’s gospel root that leads to… I don’t mean this to rhyme, spiritual fruit, but I think that’s true. It’s gospel root that leads to the spiritual fruit.

Austin Huang:
Yes, that’s beautiful.

David Platt:
And to remember in all these, we need supernatural power to show supernatural kindness. That’s why it’s the fruit of the Holy Spirit. So to pray for an otherworldly kindness in us that’s expressed through us. Man. And like you said, what a testimony to the gospel.
When you were talking about that, I think about when I was in school at the University of Georgia, one day I raised some money for us to buy… I can’t remember. It was thousands of cans of Coke, and we just stood in the student center and we just gave them out with a little thing on it that was just like, something like God loves you. And people were like, “What’s the catch?” It’s like, “Nothing. Just want you to know God.” And then I remember one guy was like, “Why are you giving out Coke then? This is not healthy.” I was like, “Okay, you don’t have to take it, bro.” So anyway.

Austin Huang:
Looking too far into it.

David Platt:
But the whole goal was just to like, “Hey, let’s show just a kind picture of who God is by giving people on a hot day something refreshing to drink.” I share that in part because yeah, this is something we can pray for and look for opportunities to put into practice today in super simple ways, in the words we speak and ways we serve. Use this conversation today to produce the spiritual, supernatural fruit of kindness and our interactions with people today.

Austin Huang:
Amen. Thank you so much for watching this episode of Everyday Radical. We pray that it encouraged you to follow Jesus more faithfully and make him known everywhere. Be sure to hit that like and subscribe button and we’ll see you in the next one.