When Caring for Missionaries Means Bringing Them Home

James and Lina were serving in a very difficult place. Ministry progress was slow, their two young children were battling illness constantly, the intense heat made sleep illusive, and they were facing a serious issue related to their team. 

They fought to faithfully endure, but when James, who had struggled with depression intermittently for years, began to slip further and further down, their church decided it was time to bring them home. 

Avery was sent overseas to reach college students with the gospel. But in the middle of his second year on the field, he began to dabble in online videos that presented well-articulated arguments against the claims of Christianity. Before he knew it, he found himself at odds with the very gospel he had been sent to proclaim. After confessing to a mentor, he was encouraged to tell his organization, and they decided to bring him home.

Brett and Katie worked and planned for years to serve Christ where he was least known. But within a few years of arriving, their marriage was full of anger, mistrust and hidden sin. As they brought these things into the light, their church and their organization made the joint decision to bring them home.

These scenarios are not hypothetical. Although I’ve changed the names, these are examples of real situations I’ve observed or been involved with over the past few years. 

Sometimes caring for missionaries well means bringing them home. When we’re seeking to help others navigate such a massive transition, here are a few things to keep in mind:

THE DEFINITION OF HOME MAY HAVE SHIFTED

In order to serve faithfully, missionaries must seek out whatever beauty and goodness they can find in a place, and seek to make themselves at home there. 

Over time, a missionary’s concept of “home” begins to alter. 

My husband and I were overseas when COVID broke out, and many of the missionaries we served alongside were deeply grieved when their organizations required them to return “home.” I distinctly remember one brother conveying his frustration that, despite his pleading, they couldn’t seem to understand his definition of home had shifted. 

As you process transitions with returning missionaries, allowing them to define home will help them feel seen and understood.

RE-ENTRY CAN BE JUST AS DIFFICULT AS ENTRY INTO A FOREIGN CULTURE

The transition back to life in the U.S. was one of the most disorienting and grief-stricken seasons of my life. But because it was not a brand of grief that many people are familiar with, it was largely quiet and lonely. I felt acutely the loss of a clear sense of purpose, I deeply missed my old life, and because my time overseas had changed me, some values and priorities that were once assumed now felt foreign. This all came together, at times, to create the feeling that I was an outsider in my home culture.  

FAMILY MEMBERS PROCESS THINGS DIFFERENTLY

A wife, for example, may be grieving the loss of her life overseas while her husband primarily feels relief. This is an incredibly common scenario. 

It’s also important to consider how their children are doing by asking good questions and ensuring mom and dad feel well equipped to help them navigate these changes.

There can be feelings of guilt, shame or failure, depending on the circumstances. 

HONEST CONVERSATION IS CRUCIAL

Some will desire to jump into ministry, but they’ll need to be ministered to first. 

Some may anticipate being asked to serve in particular ways and be discouraged or confused if that doesn’t materialize. Others may expect to be left alone and end up frustrated if asked to serve too soon. Honest conversation can help alleviate these tensions.

PATIENCE IS ESSENTIAL

While change may happen somewhat quickly, transitioning to a new reality can take years. By actively listening, asking good questions, and reminding them of God’s unwavering love no matter their location or vocation, you play a major role in helping these dear ones walk forward in faith. 

Serving Christ among the nations is one of the greatest privileges available to us this side of eternity, but sometimes an exit is the right call. May God grant tremendous grace as we seek to care for returning missionaries well, whether they come walking, crawling, or limping “home.”