It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.
– Proverbs 20:3
Oh, this is one of many Proverbs that warn against stoking strife, fueling strife, seeking out strife, getting involved in strife, and quarreling with others. It’s an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, to stay distant from strife, not to get pulled into it, and every fool will be quarreling. You want to see a fool? Look at those who are quarreling constantly.
Proverbs 20:3 teaches that wisdom avoids unnecessary conflict.
I think about James 3 talking about wisdom from above. And how it sows a harvest of righteousness and peace by those who make peace. Wisdom pursues, seeks out peace in a Romans 12:18 kind of way. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Now, obviously, we live in a world of strife and quarreling. So there’s a sense in which it can’t be avoided. And we’re constantly tempted to be pulled into it. But what Proverbs is teaching us here is that it’s wisdom to stay aloof from strife. It’s wisdom to avoid quarreling. It’s wisdom to pursue peace. And so we pray, God, help us to be wise in this way today.
We pray you’d help us to keep aloof from strife. Help us to not give ourselves over to quarreling. God, when we are tempted to be drawn into strife. Or tempted to join in quarreling, we pray that you would pull us back. I think about all the influence of social media on polarization, divisiveness, and people making comments about this and that. It just feels like a lot of strife. God help us to keep aloof from it. And God, we pray that you would make our speech wise, peaceable, promoting peace, good, helpful, and edifying for building others up in Christ…. For those who are not in Christ, for pointing them to Jesus with the way we speak.
Proverbs 20:3 challenges us to resist quarrels and pursue peace.
God, we pray for Colossians 4 to be true of us today. That all of our conversations would be gracious, seasoned with salt… So that we may be prepared to share with any person the good news of your love in Jesus… So that we make the most of every moment we have in conversation.
God, we pray all these verses over our speech today, over our relationships. Help us to keep aloof from strife… In what we say, what we do, and how we love others. Help us not to be given over to quarreling in a world that desperately needs Jesus, the peace that you alone can bring. So God, help us to reflect that in ways that point people around us to who you are, to your character… The fruit of your Spirit… Love, joy, peace. God, we pray that that would flow from our lives and our speech today.
Prayer for Nations at War
And God, we pray for this around the world. We think about wars in different places in the world. God, we pray that your peace, Jesus, would spread to the people who are embroiled in wars in different places. Lord, we pray for tribes, villages, countries, nations, and people groups who are experiencing strife for so many different reasons. God, we pray for the spread of the gospel of peace through your people to all the tribes, villages, and nations. We pray all this according to your Word in Proverbs 20:3. In Jesus’ name, amen.
David Platt serves as a Lead Pastor for McLean Bible Church. He is also the Founder of Radical, an organization that makes Jesus known among the nations.
David received his B.A. from the University of Georgia and M.Div., Th.M., and Ph.D. from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. Some of his published works include Radical, Radical Together, Follow Me, Counter Culture, Something Needs to Change, Don’t Hold Back, and How to Read the Bible.
He lives in the Washington, D.C. metro area with his wife and children.
