A Pastor’s Thoughts on Inviting Friends to Church
The first time I invited friends to my church was a disaster.
I was in college and had bonded with a group of guys over rock music and video games. We agreed they’d come and visit the church where I served. They all showed up a couple of weeks later, unannounced, in the middle of Sunday school, half of them dressed in all black, with ripped jeans and beat-up Chucks. As they walked in, the deacon presiding was teaching about Aaron’s priestly garments and the importance of “dressing our Sunday best.” I was the usher at the door, wearing khaki pants and my tie.
My friends left mid-service and never came back. It took me a long time to work up the courage to invite anybody else.
PREPARATION IN FAITH
While it’s true that some Christians are ashamed of the gospel or unwilling to identify as Christians, I don’t think that’s the case for most of us. What I most frequently witness is that we don’t invite people to Church because we want them to feel uncomfortable, judged, or hurt. And while it’s difficult to admit, we also don’t want to waste anybody’s time. We all know people who seem so far away from God it feels like it’ll take a miracle for them to actually listen to the Word of God.
But let’s remember, it does take a miracle!
Our friends are desperately far from God. In all likelihood, they will feel uncomfortable at church. They might even feel judged. While we don’t want to be judgmental, non-believers are supposed to feel something’s off about them while they’re in the house of the living God.
We can’t shield them from God’s presence; only faith in Christ can. Yet here’s the great news, “faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17). So the first and most important thing we need to understand, and that should motivate us to invite our friends is that our God is a God of miracles, and he brings hearts to life through the hearing of his Word.
PURPOSE IN FELLOWSHIP
Here’s something else to think about: results are often quieter—and more significant—than expected. Our invitations don’t convert people, but they do place them where conversion is possible. God loves the church, and he uses churches to save people. Your friend might come out of respect for you, and you might feel like nothing happened. In a year, he might be serving Christ right alongside you.
You don’t need to have everything figured out, nor does your church need to be super exciting: as long as the Word is preached, and the Holy Spirit is present, everything is in its right place. It’s possible that we don’t have all the right answers at that moment, or that the topic of the sermon doesn’t seem to fit what our friends are going through at the moment.
We can and should follow up afterwards, and the relationship is more important than an isolated event. But we must remember that the Word of God never returns empty—it will accomplish God’s purpose and succeed in the thing for which he’s sent it (Isaiah 55:11).
PLANNING IN FAITHFULNESS
As we’re able, because we want to be faithful to our Savior, we need to ask simple but important questions about our Sunday services, as 1 Corinthians 14 teaches. What kind of experience will our friends walk into? Will anyone greet them? Will we be able to sit with them? Will they be able to follow along with the music? Will the pastor make sense? Will I have a chance to speak or have a meal with them afterwards?
Some of us might have a visceral reaction to these questions, but these are not marketing concerns; they are pastoral ones. The goal is not to impress our friends, but to serve them. It is human nature to cater experiences to our needs and tastes, so Christians gather and pretty soon we speak christianese among ourselves, while outsiders look in, lost in their sin.
As a pastor, I want to encourage you to never soften the gospel but to remove any unnecessary stumbling blocks. We should never apologize for Scripture, prayer, or the call to repentance. But we should be willing to explain what we do and why we do it. A brief word before the service, a conversation afterward, or a simple follow-up message can make the difference between confusion and clarity.
We should all, shepherds and sheep, be willing to look into why our liturgies are the way they are, so that we can explain them to our guests. And here’s a pro-tip: let’s always be willing to say—“That’s a great question, I don’t know the answer to that, but I’ll look into it.” That’ll always open the door to a follow-up conversation that can, Lord willing, point to the cross of Christ.
Looking back, my friends didn’t leave church because of a lesson on priestly garments. They didn’t stay because I wasn’t prepared to walk with them through an unfamiliar space. Inviting friends to church requires preparation, purpose, and planning, from you as you invite, and from the whole church as it becomes more familiar with unbelievers. But most of all, it requires faith. It requires believing and trusting in a God who truly loves the world so much that he gave his only Son to save us.
