Why Most Christians Struggle to Pray

Austin Huang:
Welcome to Everyday Radical, a podcast where we help the everyday Christian follow Jesus and make him known everywhere. We pray that today’s episode encourages you to do just that, so let’s dive right in. What’s up, David? How are you doing?

David Platt:
Good, Austin. How are you, man?

Austin Huang:
Good. It’s funny because we usually start with prayer off camera before we jump into these episodes, but since we’re talking about prayer today, why don’t we just model that? Would you pray-

David Platt:
Oh, yes. God, we pray all the time before these episodes that you would direct our thoughts, our words, and that you would bless every single person who listens to this and you would use it all for their good, for our good, for your glory, you would draw us closer to yourself. So we pray over that right now. Please lead our speaking, please keep us aligned with your word and your spirit. And please lead listening in ways that draw us closer to you, especially as we talk about prayer, this amazing privilege we have right now that we’re speaking to you, God, and you’re listening to us and promise to answer us according to what we ask for in your word. So yes, may it be so, we pray in Jesus’ name, who makes all this possible, amen.

Austin Huang:
Amen. That right there that we just modeled, that you just prayed for us. A lot of people who maybe are new in the faith, maybe they aren’t past that point of giving their life to Christ yet, they might listen to that prayer and think it’s just like, “All right, if God is sovereign, as you say, then why do you need to pray? What’s the point of asking God for things, talking to him? If God is this ultimate creator being who is in control of everything, then what’s the point?”

David Platt:
Yeah. Man, that’s a good question that I think, yeah, I’m guessing most of us wrestle with that. Not just if he sovereign, if he already knows all things, prayers, am I informing the omniscient God of the universe?

Austin Huang:
Right.

David Platt:
So I would say on the sovereignty piece, God ordains ends and means. So yes, God has a will he’s accomplishing in this world and he’s willed to accomplish those things through the prayers of his people. I always think about, well, Exodus 32 is one of the best passages for this because Moses prays for God’s people who are experiencing his judgment and God’s saying, “They deserve my judgment.” Moses intercedes for God’s people and God, it says in, I think it’s Exodus 32:14, God relents of the judgment he was going to pour out in response to Moses’ prayer. Now, that’s not like Moses changing God’s mind, God hadn’t thought about that. “Oh, okay. Well, because you said that, I’ll do this.” It’s, God willed to save his people from judgment and he willed to do that through an intercessor, through Moses praying.
And so our praying, we’re actually joining with God in his will and what he’s accomplishing in the world. All that means is that our prayers actually do matter. God acts in response to the prayers of his people. And that’s huge. If we actually believe that, we’ll pray a lot more. But to your point, if we just think, “Well, God’s going to do whatever he does regardless of whether I pray,” then we’re going to be like, “Well, prayer is kind of meaningless in that sense,” when it’s not true.
God wills to work in the world according to the prayers of his people. I think also about all the different passages where we see in Exodus, “God did according to the word of Moses.” That’s amazing, just that statement. And to think, “Wow, that God might do according to my word today.” Now, that obviously is all filtered, thankfully, through his wisdom and his power and his love. He doesn’t do everything I ask him to do because I don’t always know what’s best, but I can trust that God is hearing what I ask and God will work according to his wisdom and power and love according to what I ask. That’s amazing.

Austin Huang:
And I think you tee that up pretty perfectly of, what if my prayer doesn’t get answered the way that I want it to? I’m grateful personally for a lot of prayers that I have prayed that did not get answered.

David Platt:
Yeah.

Austin Huang:
But how do we reconcile that? What’s the end goal of praying? Is it to improve ourselves? Is it to have communion with God? Are there multiple end goals of prayer?

David Platt:
Yeah, I do think it’s multiple. I think first and foremost, to realize the primary purpose of prayer is not to get something but to know someone, to be with God. This is the primary purpose of prayer. Just think Psalm 27, “One thing I ask, one thing I’m seeking after in prayer, that I may behold you in all your glory, I may gaze upon you, that I may inquire of you in your temple. I want to see you, I want to know you more.” And that’s part of what I think about in Matthew six when Jesus says, all these religious leaders and religious people keep heaping up all these words. And he says, “Your father already knows what you need before you ask him.” So okay, apparently prayer is not for the purpose of informing God. He already knows, he’s omniscient.
He knows everything. So God’s not up in Heaven, a notepad like, “Okay, what’d you say? I didn’t catch that, I didn’t realize that.” No. So I think we hear that and we think, “Okay, then what’s the point?” Well, the point is to be with him, to cast our cares on him, to intercede, much like we were talking about, for things in our own lives, for things in others’ lives, for things in the world. And as we commune with God in this way, so now you get into multiple dimensions, yes. It’s to know him and to participate with him in what he’s doing in the world. I think about Elijah in 1 Kings 18 at the end of that. Well, first, when he calls down fire from heaven, God does that in response to Elijah praying.
God didn’t just send the fire. God waited, and it was Elijah’s prayer that caused fire to fall from heaven. And the same thing happens at the end of that chapter. It’s Elijah’s prayer, and he keeps pressing in, persevering in prayer until rain comes from the sky after a drought for years. That’s all in response to prayer. So yes, we’re growing in communion with God, we’re participating with God and what he’s doing in the world. This is, man, even as we’re talking about this in just a fresh way in my own heart, this is amazing, the privilege, the joy, the honor, the power that’s involved in prayer.

Austin Huang:
Yeah. I love Psalm 16:11, I feel like we’ve referenced that a million times on the podcast, but the fullness of joy is found in the presence of God. And something I’ve been reflecting on in my own prayer life, which honestly, I would love your perspective, encouragement, advice on how to improve this. But what I’ve found interesting is that I’m reading through the gospel accounts and I’m noticing that Jesus would distance himself after doing ministry, healing people. He would go away to go be with the Father.
And something that the Lord has been putting on my heart is, “Hey, inquire upon me. What did Jesus actually pray?” I’m like, “I’ve never thought about that before.” Did Jesus go and spend time with the Father and talk about all these things that was on his mind, or did he just sit in silence? And so I would love your perspective on what does a good prayer life look like?

David Platt:
Man, there’s a lot there. Oh, what does a good prayer life look like? Well, I think one, it looks like, to your point and what Jesus says in Matthew six, it involves concentrated time alone with the Father. So yes, we pray continually all the time. This is one of the things I love most about, I just think about one mentor in my life. I can’t remember if we talked about this, but he just was in constant conversation with God, this older brother in Christ. We’d be walking down the sidewalk and he would just, we’re talking and then he’d be like, “Father, we pray for that.” And then he’d go back to talking to me. He was in constant conversation with God. So I love that continual prayer that happens all the time and certainly when we pray together.
But Jesus says, “Go in your room, close the door, pray to your father, who is unseen. And your father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” So a healthy prayer life does allot time to where you’re just alone with the Father. And this is where I really believe the most important part of our life is the part nobody else sees, just alone with God, just being with him. And I do think that involves times in solitude or in silence, just listening, certainly in reading his word and then meditating on his word. But when I picture Jesus alone with the Father, I remember he goes to spend time alone with the Father and then he calls his disciples. This is a major moment that he’s about to invite this select group of people to follow him. I don’t know exactly what that conversation looked like, but I think it was maybe something like, “Father, who am I supposed to call? And I pray for this person, I pray for this person.”
He’s interceding for them, just like we see in John 17. He does show us one glimpse of how Jesus prayed. We’ve got a prayer from Jesus there and he’s praying for those disciples, he’s praying for us. It’s amazing, we’re getting a glimpse into how he prays. So I think it is Jesus, and this is amazing in the Trinity, the Son experiencing community with the Father, the Son submitting his will to the Father. Certainly we see him praying, “Not my will, but yours be done.” So that should certainly be a part of our prayer lives. Just saying submission to him and then interceding for others, asking for help in this way or that way. That’s where the son, I do believe, was asking help from the Father and certainly in a way, we do.
And then I just think about Jesus’ clear, very direct instructions to us. “When you pray, pray like this. Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive those who sin against us. And lead us not in temptation, but deliver us from evil.” This picture of, our healthy prayer life is worshipful, is submissive, it’s thankful, it’s interceding, it’s petitioning for help and guidance, it’s asking our hearts to be conformed to his heart, all those things. Man, that’s a valuable use of our time. I really don’t think we can… Yeah, I know we cannot thrive in following Jesus without that kind of time alone with him in prayer. And Jesus obviously models this for us, shows us if the son of God needed this time, certainly sons and daughters of God need this.

Austin Huang:
Yeah. I completely forgot about John 17, because when I thought about it, I’m like, “Okay, the Lord’s prayer. That one’s very direct” But John 17, talking about the unity amongst us would show the glory of God one day.

David Platt:
Yes. And what a glimpse. I do love that because it’s such a glimpse and the dynamic between God the Son and God the Father, him talking to the Father and what he prays for us, how he… Yeah, just how that communion, even within the Trinity looks. And then to think, I mean, that’s part of the point, really in a lot of those. Yeah, a lot of John 14 through 17, it’s a lot about just our being invited into this intimacy with God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. We’re being invited into, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you, remain in my love.” This is the son remaining in the Father’s love, we remain in the son’s love. Yeah, what a picture of what we’ve been invited into.

Austin Huang:
And I think it’s fascinating that scripture also says that the spirit intercedes on our behalf with groanings too deep for growth, and that Jesus lives to make intercession for us. So just to think about, if I’m struggling in my prayer life, I have the Spirit of God and the Son of God helping me pray to the Father. How cool is that?

David Platt:
Yes, that’s amazing. I can’t remember who it was who said, “I can do anything. I can take on whatever the world throws at me if I believe that Jesus is interceding for me at every moment.” Man, just without diving into all the specifics, just through some challenges recently, trials in life, that specific doctrine or just truth, that reality, that the spirit is interceding for me, the son is interceding for me. There’s a reason why right after Paul says that in Romans eight, he says, “If God’s for us, who can be against us?” Actually, it’s right before that, but this is emboldening that, as you’re walking through things, Hebrews seven, he lives to intercede for us.
That’s amazing. Today, Jesus lives to intercede for me, for you, for anybody listening to this who knows him as savior and Lord Jesus. He’s not just sitting at the right hand, kind of watching, the Father, watching what’s going on. He is living to intercede for us, to provide for us everything we need at every moment we need it. That’ll change your perspective on… It’s not that it makes trials easy, but you realize, “Well, I’m not alone. I’ve got the Son of God interceding for me. I’ve got the spirit putting into, groaning for me in ways that words can’t even express.”

Austin Huang:
I know there’s not a set percentage of, “Okay, here’s how many prayers I should pray for myself, for my family, for my friends, for the world, for the nations.” But can you walk me through your routine, your daily prayer? I know, “Pray constantly, pray without ceasing throughout your day, “but also the set aside alone time with God, what does that look like for you in prayer?

David Platt:
Yeah. Yeah, my time with the Lord each morning, it’s the first thing I do. And I would say the first part of that time, it usually starts with just in a Psalm 27 kind of way, just, “God, I seek you, I want to know you, just to praise you.” Pretty consistently, just thanksgiving as I’m looking back at the day before, “God, thank you for this yesterday, thank you for that. Yeah, tomorrow morning, thank you for Austin, thank you for your grace in him, thank you for the conversation we had.” So just fixing my eyes on him. And then I usually go into, and I’ll reflect on the day before. Yeah, I’ll usually do that. And I’m usually journaling when I do this. And so I’ll be writing out, and I’m doing it on a computer, but I’ll just be writing out, “Hey, this happened yesterday.” And then that’ll lead me to pray for some different things.
So, “I recorded with Austin yesterday and God, I pray for your blessing on him, I pray for your blessing on that podcast, that it would be an encouragement.” So I kind of reflect on the day, pray through the day. I’ll be writing down things that God taught me through that and so I’m praying based on that. Then usually I transition from that into Bible reading. As I’m reading through the Bible, I mean, pray the word that podcast is just kind of the, it’s a little glimpse into the overflow of… So I’ll read a verse, I’m meditating on it. And I won’t do this with every single verse that I read in multiple chapters, but I’ll write it out or copy and paste it and then just write a prayer based on it. And usually that oftentimes, that’ll start with, I think about Jude, I was reading this morning, “So now to the one who is able to keep you from stumbling.”
So I write that out and I’m like, “God, please keep me from stumbling. I need your help, I am tempted to stumble all the time.” And then I’ll usually, if you almost kind of think about it as a broadening circles, then, “God please keep my wife from stumbling. God, please keep…” I just pray that over each of my kids, pray for my kids. I’ll pray for other people in my life, just co-laborers in the gospel. And then I’ll pray for the members of our church. “God, please keep the members of our church family from stumbling today. And so that’s how it kind of, it usually does start with praying for this in my own life. Sometimes it’ll be like immediately my mind’s going to, “I don’t want to pray this for somebody else,” but it’ll usually start in my own life and then broaden out. That’s pretty common.
And yeah, so reading the word, praying based on the word. And then after all that, then I have, I call it a prayer journal, but I guess I don’t journal it every day. It’s basically more like a guide. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I have specific things I pray for for my family. I got tons of things I want to pray for my kids and my wife, so I’ve just tried to divide them up, at least five different groups. So I’ve got things I pray for, for them. I’ll usually pray, there’s people that I’m sharing life with most closely. I’ll pray for those same things or similar things over them, for the members of our church. And then I’ve got different people I pray for on different days, different things in the world I pray for, peace in the world on this day, freedom from slavery, those, much trafficking in the world, wars in the world.
I’ll pray certainly for unreached people each day. I’ll pray for different facets of the church. So anyway, I’ve just kind of taken all the things I want to consistently pray for and I’ve divided into five days. Not that I don’t pray on Saturday and Sunday, I just don’t use the prayer guide in the same way on those days. And some people might say, “Well, that just feels wrote,” which it can become. But I look at it more as it feels intentional. I really want to pray. I want to make sure to pray for my childrens’ spouses and if the Lord leads them to get married or they’re thriving in singleness, and I want to pray for their kids and their kids’ kids. So every Friday, I want to be intentional to pray for that. If that sounds wrote, I’m okay with that. I want to intentionally pray for that. I also want to pray for their hunger for the word. I want to pray for, I mean, the list is long, so I want to make sure to be intentional to pray for those things.

Austin Huang:
And if we do believe that God actually hears those prayers, then sure, if it’s every other week, it’s like the same thing, the same thing. So that means that God is hearing those prayers and because he loves you, he’s going to hear those and he’s going to take them into account. And that’s just his loving nature is to hear you. And I think that’s something that you touched on, is the repetition, I feel like turns a lot of people off, which, why?
There’s this whole controversy and we don’t have much time to get into it, but it’s like some people are saying, “Don’t pray the Lord’s prayer.” Others are saying, “You have to pray.” I’m like, “Oh, Jesus is modeling this for us, so it must be good.” I don’t think Jesus said, “You have to pray this every single day.” It’s not that level of a command, but he’s saying, “Pray like this.” So if you’re saying don’t pray like this, I don’t think that’s what Jesus wants.

David Platt:
Yeah, I think that he wants us to pray at least to some extent. Why? I mean, “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth is in heaven.” I want to pray that all the time. “Your kingdom, your will be done in my life. Your will be done in this person’s life. Your will be done in the church, your will be done among the nations,” to pray that all the time. And that’s where I do think that intentional time in the morning, so I think concentrated time and intentional time that way, I think helps fuel the continual time in prayer all day long, just the as you go praying. I’m definitely more in tune with the Spirit of God and walking in continual prayer throughout the day if I spend that time in the morning. If periodically, I miss that time in the morning, I can definitely tell a difference throughout the rest of the day.
And then I do think it’s helpful to close the day with, looking back, just praying, thanking God, praying for things that are heavy in your heart before you go to sleep, but that kind of intentionality built in. And I say all this, bro, I have so far to go, so much to learn. I repent of prayerlessness often. And I’m not just saying that. I have so, so far to go. I think of brothers and sisters in Christ who I know, whose example beckons me to go deeper and deeper and deeper on a daily basis. So anyway, just as we’re talking about this, the last thing I want to do is come across as like some expert on prayer. That’s not true.

Austin Huang:
Yeah. I know I did not come up with this, but something that’s been resonating with me is praying the prayer of, “Lord, never let my public ministry outgrow my private intimacy with you.” And if I did coin that, then that’s awesome, but I don’t think I did.

David Platt:
Well, yes, but it’s true. Well, just like, yes, and even just not even ministry, public life. Yeah, I can’t remember the way you put it in your mastery of that quote or that-

Austin Huang:
“Never let my public ministry outgrow my private intimacy with you.”

David Platt:
Even public life, outgrow my private intimacy with God. Just that what happens, and that’s really what it’s intended to be, right? Abide in me, remain in me, I remain in you and you’ll bear fruit. So that’ll bear fruit in the public, but the focus is on remaining in me, not on bearing fruit. But there’s an adversary who does not want us to experience intimacy with God. And so we have to be vigilant, we have to work hard, but not like work hard because you’re trying to earn brownie points before God. That obviously misses the whole point, but work hard like marriage is hard work that’s really good work. As you experience intimacy with a spouse, yes, all the more so with God. Yes, it takes work and intentionality and diligence. And I mean, Paul is fighting the fight of faith and it is a fight.
It’s a battle, but it is worth it. Man, just the thought that Austin, you, I, anybody listen to this, even if somebody was listening to this, they didn’t know Jesus, they can know Jesus, Jesus invites them into relationship with him, that we can experience intimacy with God. This morning I was meeting with God. I got a meeting with God, that’s no offense, better than sitting down with you for a podcast. I met with God and he was listening to me as I’m pouring out my heart to him and he was talking to me. I heard his voice today and I know it was his voice. It was straight from his word. That’s amazing, it’s amazing.

Austin Huang:
Yeah. One last thought on anything that you would encourage somebody who is wanting to increase their prayer life, what would you say to them?

David Platt:
Oh, man. I’ll just use the super practical, I hope this is practically and helpful. We use, in our church family, and I definitely didn’t come up with this, but the pray acrostic, P-R-A-Y. So praise, repent, ask, yield. There’s other acrostic acts, other things, but praise, repent, ask, yield. So I would just say, get alone with God, close the room, close the doors, so just you and God, and just camp out on each of those. P, praise, just praise him. And the more time you can set aside, the better. So maybe it’s 10 minutes, 20 minutes. Aim for 30 minutes or more and don’t rush. P, praise. Just start praising God for who he is, thanking God for what he’s done. Turn on a song and sing to God. Yeah, just belt it out before him. Nobody else in the room, that’s the beauty. So praise him. Get on your knees and just be with him.
Then R, repent, just ask God. “God, what in my life is now pleasing to you? Where can I grow to become more like Jesus?” He’ll show you, he’ll show you. And then just listen. And then A, ask. Just think, “Okay, what do I want to ask for in my life? What do I want to ask for in other’s lives?” And obviously, the more we’re in the word, that’ll lead us in what we should be asking for, but just cry out to God. And then at the end of all that, Y, yield. “Just not my will, but yours be done. Your will be done in my life on earth as this is in heaven. I trust you with my life today, lead me in my life today.” That time, you’ll get to the point where it’ll fly by. You’ll be like, “Oh, yeah, I got to move on, but I really would rather stay here.” But just set aside some time to P-R-A-Y, to pray. And Jesus guarantees you there’s reward waiting for you with the Father when you set aside time to pray.

Austin Huang:
So good. Thanks so much for joining us today on Everyday Radical. If this episode stirred your heart for Christ and his mission, our hope is that you would check out some of our previous episodes as well. And do not forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out on what’s ahead. Let’s keep making Jesus known everywhere together. See you next time.