In July 2022, Pew Research surveyed that 50% of Americans between 18 and 29 were single. Furthermore, most of them also did not want to pursue a relationship. This is unsurprising if you look at another study comparing singleness from 1990 to 2019, where you can see that in 1990 only 29% of the population did not have a partner, but by 2019 the percentage had risen to 38%. The trend in society is clear, and the Church is no stranger to it. The question is how this reality should be approached biblically, and with the proclamation of the gospel in mind.
Christians are called to a singleness that’s focused on the Kingdom and how to expand it.
Being single has been seen as something negative in different times and cultures. For example, in ancient Jewish culture, some rabbis taught that not being married at the age of 20 was a sin (See: Scazzero, 2015, 101). For Jewish culture, not having children meant the extinction of the family name. However, from this very culture, Jesus arose as the Christ of God—a man who served his Father in complete singleness. Likewise, Paul, the paradigm of being a self-sacrificing missionary, remained single, imitating the Lord. In short, singleness for the Kingdom was a countercultural act.
Nowadays, society sees singleness as a license for evil and selfishness. It is seen as the source of unrestricted freedom. It is used to sin freely in the sexual sphere, to free oneself from the “economic burden” of children, and to use the available time as one pleases. However, Christians are called to a different type of singleness—one that goes in the opposite direction, focused on the Kingdom and how to expand it. So, how does singleness in Christ work for the Kingdom?
1. Being Witnesses of the Truth
Remaining pure in a society that only encourages you to do the opposite will become a strong testimony that one truly believes in what one professes. It’s a testimony to the world that when belief is so strong, it is willing to sacrifice immediate personal satisfaction for it. The world might mock those who decide to abstain, but the Lord blesses those willing to renounce everything. The single person, therefore, trusts (and shows that trust to the world) the promise of his Lord: “I assure you that everyone who has given up house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the Kingdom of God, will be repaid many times over in this life, and will have eternal life in the world to come” (Luke 18:29–30 NLT).
2. Being Witnesses of a Kingdom to Come
Just as marriage is an example of the commitment of Christ to his Church, throughout history, singleness has been seen as a testimony that in the coming Kingdom, “they will neither marry nor will be given in marriage” (Matthew 22:30). From another perspective, author Peter Scazzero describes it as follows:
“Marriages bear witness to the depth of Christ’s love. Their vows focus and limit them to loving one person exclusively, permanently, and intimately. Singles […] testify to the breadth of Christ’s love. Because they are not limited by the vote to a single person, they have more freedom and time to express the love of Christ to a wide range of people.”
3. Loving the Church More Evidently
Jesus said, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:35 NLT). Because singles have more time and resources, they will have more opportunities to take their love for the Church beyond good wishes. For example, they can offer to take care of the children of couples who need a hand, visit more brothers and sisters on essential dates, donate more money to help others, etc. In that way, Paul, as a single man, poured out all his loving energy into the congregations he pastored and into his closest disciples (1 Corinthians 4:17, Galatians 4:19–20, Titus 1:4).
4. Being More Hospitable
Since singles are not burdened with serving a family, they may have greater flexibility to welcome people into their homes or even be hospitable outside them (like serving their community). It should be noted that society is not only experiencing a phenomenon of singleness but also a crisis of loneliness. Christians can make a big difference here. In this regard, author Rosaria Butterfield states, “Those who live radically ordinary hospitality see their homes not as theirs at all, but as a gift from God that they can use to promote his Kingdom.”
5. Participating in More Evangelistic Activities
For the same reasons mentioned above, singles have greater flexibility to invest in long conversations with non-believers, participate in events that promote the gospel, do missions, etc. For example, the missionary Amy Carmichael, who did not have a family, was able to go to India to preach the gospel among the girls she rescued and, therefore, among the families and the immediate context in which she acted.
The singleness of some can be a great blessing for the Church as a whole. This does not mean it is better than marriage, as Paul makes it clear in his letters, but its blessings differ from those of married people. Therefore, while the world may produce singles based on selfishness and immaturity, the Church has an excellent opportunity to show mature singles ready for the service of others and to expand a Kingdom that is not from this world.
Renzo Diaz Guzman is the Academic Coordinator at Ministerios de Apologética Cristiana. He is an MDiv student at Reformed Theological Seminary Orlando.
