How Far is Too Far? - Radical

How Far is Too Far?

How far is too far? This is the age-old question of many as it pertains to sexual boundaries and limitations. As Christians, instead of how far is too far, we should perhaps be asking how we can glorify God all the more. In this message, Pastor David Platt explains the dynamic of healthy relationships to describe the nature of purity in Christ.

  1. How Far is Too Far?
  2. Women Are Your Sisters in Christ

Watch Full Message Of “Secret Church 11: Family, Marriage, Sex, and the Gospel

God in His Word has no category for two people who aren’t married but kind of sort of in some ways act like they are, particularly sexually. That is not a God ordained category of relationship. There is not one place in this entire book where we are ever encouraged to engage in any sexual activity outside of the marriage relationship.

Instead, we’re discouraged. Remember the whole definition of pornea, sexual immorality is sexual activity outside of marriage between a man and a woman. We talked about how it’s the kind of thing that you would be outraged to find your spouse doing with someone else. I would be furious if another guy hugged my wife sexually, kissed my wife sexually, or touched my wife sexually in any way.

How Far is Too Far?

Yet, many single Christian guys have no problem doing any, or all of those things with a woman who’s not their wife. Which leads me to ask the question, would it be acceptable for me as a married man to kiss a woman who’s not my wife? To do these things with a woman who’s not my wife? You say, “Of course not.” But the reality is, guys, any single woman that you’re talking with statistically is likely going to be somebody’s wife. So why should you be doing these things with somebody else’s wife?

You say, “Well, she might be my wife, or I think she’s going to be my wife.” And the Bible says, well then make her your wife and then kiss her all you want. But apart from that 1 Corinthians 7, “It is not good for a man to have sexual activity with a woman. She’s your neighbor, and sexual activity is prohibited with your neighbor.” Then you take this a step further because scripture takes it a step further, and you look, I put in parentheses Timothy 5:1 and 2, because Paul says to Timothy there to treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters in all purity.

Women Are Your Sisters In Christ

So follow this, the Bible ties pure treatment of the opposite sex with the picture of the family relationship. So singleness, single men and women, what does purity look like with your brother, or your sister? Guys, would you make out with your sister? Would you passionately kiss your sister? You say, “Absolutely not. No way.” Why not? “‘Cause she’s my sister.” Precisely. There you have it, a standard for purity and your relationship with a single woman in Christ, absolutely nothing sexual. No way.

Why not? Because she’s my sister. And, certainly, your sister in Christ. Or single women, your brother in Christ. It deserves all the greater purity in Christ than even your own family member does. And so, I want to encourage you, single men, single women in this room, based on the three God-ordained categories of relationship in the Bible, I want to encourage you not to do anything sexually with another person who’s not your husband or your wife. You’re looking for a general guideline. What’s the line? Here it is, don’t do anything that you wouldn’t do with your brother, or your sister because any and all sexual activity is for marriage.

David Platt

David Platt serves as a pastor in metro Washington, D.C. He is the founder of Radical.

David received his Ph.D. from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and is the author of Don’t Hold Back, Radical, Follow MeCounter CultureSomething Needs to ChangeBefore You Vote, as well as the multiple volumes of the Christ-Centered Exposition Commentary series.

Along with his wife and children, he lives in the Washington, D.C. metro area.


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